Joey: Oh, man. It is so hard to shop for girls!
Chandler: Yes it is at Office Max!!
The One With The Dirty Girl

Ross: So, what did the insurance company say?
Chandler: Oh, they said, "You don't have insurance here! So stop calling us!"
The One With The Cat

Rachel: You know what Chandler? You got yourself into those cuffs and you can get yourself out of them.
Chandler: No, no, no, no. I can't get myself out of them! You must have me confused with the Amazing Chandler!!
The One With The Cuffs

Joey: This guy is so stupid! It's Count Rushmore!!!
The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy

Joey: What kind of profit is that? And you call yourself an accountant?
Chandler: No.
Joey: Oh. What do you do?
Chandler: I can't believe you don't know what I do for a living.
All: (Ad-lib) No I don't know ; Not really ; Something to do with... etc.
The One With The Cat

(Monica, Joey and Tim Burke are watching football)
All: (Cheer!!)
Chandler: (From in a box) What happened?!?!
Joey: You kissed my girlfriend!
The One With Chandler In A Box

Rachel: Hey, Chandler. Monica just broke my seashell lamp.
Chandler: Neat! I'm gonna die alone!
Rachel: OK, you win.
The One Where Heckles Dies

Ross: And, er, and then I kissed her.
Joey: Tounge?
Ross: Yeah.
Joey: Cool!
The One With The List

Joey: Some girl ate Monica!!
Monica: Shut up! The camera adds ten pounds.
Chandler: Aah, so how many cameras are actually on you?
The One With The Prom Video

Joey: Alright, Ross. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?
Ross: Sure.
Joey: Strip Joint!!
The One Where Monica Gets A New Roommate

Chandler: Oh, good! Do you guys know how to get a chick out of a VCR?
The One With A Chick And A Duck

Chandler: She's insane! The woman is insane! It's before work, it's after work, it's during work! She's got me doing butt-clenches at my desk.
The One Where Ross Finds Out

Ross: You know, 100 million people went to see a movie about whatI do, I wonder how many people would go see a movie called Jurassic Parka!
Rachel: That is so...
Ross: No, no, no! A bunch of outta control jackets take over an island. Aaahh!!
The One With Phoebe's Ex-Partner

Ross: Oh yeah! I forgot about your ability to fuse metal.
Monica: Hey, it's Funny's cousin! Not Funny!
The One With Phoebe's Dad

Joey: How come we never have jam at our place?
Chandler: Because the kids need new shoes!
The One With The Jam

Ross: And officiating at tonight's blackout is Rabbi Tribbiani
Joey: Well, Chandler's old roommate was Jewish and these are the only candles we had, so... Happy Hannukah, everyone!
The One With The Blackout

Rachel: Ooh, we are way past the fling thing. I mean, I'm only feeling things that I've read about in Danielle Steele books, you know. I mean, when I'm with him I'm just totally, totally...
Ross: Nauseous, I'm physically nauseous! What am I supposed to do, huh? Call immigration? (Suddenly inspired) I could call immigration!
The One With A Dozen Lasagnas

Monica: Just go up to her and ask her out.
Chandler: Yeah, right.
Monica: Come on! What's the worst thing that could happen?
Chandler: I could die!
The One With Joey's New Girlfriend

Monica: So, did you pick a roommate?
Chandler: Yep.
Monica: Oh, is it the Italian guy?
Chandler: Mm, hmm, yeah right!
The One With The Flashback

Rachel: Were you planning on inviting us?
Joey: Noooo. Later.
Phoebe: Hey. Get your ass back here Tribbiani!!
The One With The Worst Best Man Ever

Joey: Oh, Chandler. When you see Frankie, tell him Joey Tribbiani says hello. He'll know what it means.
Chandler: You sure he's gonna be able to crack that code?
The One With Ross' New Girlfriend

Joey: Got to China, eat chinese food!
Chandler: Of course, there they just call it food.
The One Where Rachel Finds Out

Ross: I guess he must've gotten the part in that play.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah.
Chandler: Either that or Gloria Estefan was right, eventually the rhythm is going to "get you".
The One With The Tiny T-Shirt

Chandler: Oh that's great. With my luck that's gonna be him.
Phoebe: Him, Ross?
Chandler: Nope, hymn number 253. His eyes are on the sparrow!
The One With The Ski Trip

Joey:Relax, I can get this open. Anybody have a coat hanger?
Chandler: Oh, I do. Oh, wait a minute, I took it out of my shirt when I put it on this morning.
The One With The Ski Trip

Chandler: You know, they're thinkin' of changing the name of this place.
Joey: To what?
Chandler: To put the camera away!!!
The One With Ross' Wedding

Ross: I Ross, take thee Rachel, uh, Emily.
(Not really funny but will be remembered)
The One With Ross' Wedding

Rachel: Oh! I almost caught that one!
Chandler: Great. Now the score's seven to almost seven.
The One With The Football

Chandler: Whoa! Somebody missed the off-ramp.
Phoebe: It's Monica's bed, what?
Chandler: OK, it's a race car!
The One With The Race Car Bed

Margha: I would say...Chandler.
Chandler: Yes!!
Joey: Wait a minute, wait a minute. She obviously didn't understand the question.
Chandler: Well why don't you have Captain Hook explain it to her?!
Margha: I am sorry Joey but that is my choose [choice].
Chandler: You here that, that is her choose Mr I'll-Let-You-Have-Her. I win, you suck, I rule all, mini-wave in celebration of me! A-Woo-Hoo!!
The One With The Football

Chandler: Oh, and the guy who liked my name so much he felt the need to make a little noise every time he said it. "Nice to meet you Chandler Bing, Bing. Great apartment Chandler Bing, BING!!
The One With The Flashback

Chandler: You know, whipped. Wah-Pah!
Joey: That's not whipped! Whipped is Wuh-tschh.
Chandler: That's what I did. Wah-Pah!
Joey: You can't do anything!!!
The One With The Wedding Dresses

Joey: Is it expensive there?
Chandler: Well, only if you order stuff.
The One With Two Parts, Part I

Rachel: Time is money my friend?!
Joey: Oh yeah. You missed 'it takes money to make money' and 'don't make me come down there and kick your Wall Street butt!'.
The One With The Bullies

More to come...