[Scene: A church somewhere in NY]
Minister: I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now...
[Fades to Ross' bedroom, 8am]
Rachel: Honey, wake up, wake up.
(Ross wakes up startled)
Ross: ARE YOU CRAZY!!
[Scene: Same as before]
Ross: Oh, sorry.
Rachel: What the hell did you say that for?
Ross: It's a long story. Anyway (looks at clock) it's only 8 o' clock what are you waking me up for?
Rachel: (hugs him) I love you for that!!
[Scene: Bloomingdale's, Ross and Rachel are arriving]
Sophie: Hey Rachel.
Rachel: Hi Sophie. You're here early.
Sophie: I thought you might need a hand.
Ross: I think we can manage.
Rachel: Come on then.
Ross: Yeah, whatever.
(They go into Joanna's (Rachel's former boss) old office. It's a complete mess)
Ross: In the words of Chandler, Could this place BE more untidy?
Rachel: It's not that bad.
Ross: Not that bad? Rach, Hiroshima didn't look this bad after it was nuked!
Rachel: You're exaggerating. I mean I'm sure the other office isn't this bad.
Ross: (opens door to adjacent office) Ok, its worse.
Sophie: (entering) everything OK?
(Ross gives her a 'duh?' look)
Rachel: Ok, lets get sorted.
Ross: Yeah, Sophie, clear up in there will you?
Sophie: (ticked off) Fine!
[Scene: Central Perk, later on, Ross and Gunther present]
[In this scene, Gunther's thoughts are denoted by italics]
Ross: Can I get some coffee please Gunther.
Gunther: Sure. (under his breath) You took away the girl of my dreams so why don't I serve you some coffee.
(A couple enter,played by Jim Carrey and Samantha Janus)
Tom: (laughing) What an asshole. (notices Ross on couch) Ross?
Ross: Tom? Heeeey. Long time no see. How ya doin'?
Tom: I'm doin' fantastic. This is my girlfriend Louise.
Louise: Hi. Nice to meet you.
Tom: Do you two know each other?
Louise: This is my sister.
Rachel: Yeah. Who's this (referring to Tom)
Louise: This is my boyfriend Tom.
Ross: So let me just get this straight. My fiancee's sister is the girlfriend of my old work pal?
Tom & Louise: (simultaneously) Fiancee?
(In the background Gunther drops the cup of coffee he is holding and spills it all over himself)
[Scene: Same as before]
(Rachel gives him a 'Nice one' look)
Ross (in his head): Uh-oh. It's another one of those RUN FOR YOUR LIFE situations.
Louise: Rach, you never told me.
Rachel: No, I didn't.
Tom: Well anyway we have to get going.
Ross (in his head): There IS a God!!
(Louise and Tom leave)
Rachel: I thought we agreed not to tell anyone.
Ross: Yeah, like there's a rule or something.
Rachel: No, but...
Ross: Anyway, I already told Chandler, Monica, Joey and (realises Rachel isn't pleased) so how are Chandler & Monica doing these days?
Rachel: You told everyone?
Ross: Umm...(his beeper goes off)
Ross (cont'd in his head) There DEFINITELY is a God!!
Ross (cont'd) Ok, later (rushes out of the coffeehouse)
[Scene: Bloomingdale's, Ross and Sophie present]
Sophie: (from the other office) Finally!!
Ross: Done in there?
Sophie: What? Oh, yeah.
(Ross walks in to find everything either stuffed in drawers or thrown in cabinets etc.)
Ross: (sarcastic) Top class job, Sophie. (serious now) Explanation?
Sophie (in her head): RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!
Rachel (entering): Hey how's ever... aah!
Ross: Come on Sophie, give it a proper clean!
Sophie: It'll take days to do properly.
Ross: (nonchalantly) Yeah.
Rachel: OK, OK. It'll do for now. Sophie back to your office.
Sophie: Yes (under her breath) your highness.
Ross: Ok, Rache, I'll get sorted in here and you go in there, OK?
Rachel: Yeah, fine.
(Ross sits down and the buzzer rings)
Ross: (into buzzer) Yes.
Sophie (through buzzer) So you and Rachel are engaged huh?
(Ross' head falls on the desk)
[Scene: A church somewhere in NY, Ross is having the same dream as before]
Minister: You may now...
(Fades to Ross' bedroom)
Rachel: (sounds worried) Ross.
Ross: CAN'T I SLEEP IN PEACE AROUND HERE?!?!?!
Rachel Green: Jennifer Aniston
Ross Geller: David Schwimmer
Sophie: Laura Dean
Gunther: James Michael Tyler
Tom Williams: Jim Carrey
Louise Green: Samantha Janus
Writer: Harrison Crecraft
Transcribed by: Harrison Crecraft
The title 'The One In The Aftermath', and the script are property of the above.
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