Ross and Rachel Episode 104

Original Postdate - 3/29/98
Written by Robert Ashworth
Hey I'm like, what your first guest writer? It may seem obvious, that I'm marking my territory. So here go, peeing on this webpage. My name's Robert (Ashworth) and I'm the owner of The Friends Zone. Which is an online Frends club, with a great newsletter. So if you want to join just go to for more details. Anyway you probably want to get on with the story, so go on read it. (Note this is my first R&R script so bare with me) And no I'm not going to send you a barbershop quartet. [Producer's note: Don't get confused! This script's all in line with the story!]

 [Scene: Ross and Rachel's Apartment]

[Ross and Rachel are getting ready for work]

Ross: Do you know where I put my tie?

Rachel: I think it came off on the couch

Ross: No, that was the pants

Rachel: Yeah. Where did the tie go?

Ross: I remember, you ripped it off

Rachel: Oh yeah, sorry about that

Ross: I hated it anyway

Rachel: It was your dino tie, you loved it

[Ross pretends to cry]

Ross: I know

[Ross stops pretending]

Ross: Well what we did was worth losing the tie for

Rachel: So you liked it?

Ross: Of course, although it was a bit messy

[Rachel looks shocked]

Rachel: What was?

Ross: Making spaghetti

Rachel: Oh, I thought you were talking something else

Ross [puzzled]: What else could you be thinking of?

[Ross still looks puzzled, then he gets it and looks shocked]

Ross: Ohhhh!


[Scene: Bloomingdale's]

[Rachel is doing some work in the office]

Rachel [shouting]: Sophie, can you get in here?!!!

[Sophie walks in]

Sophie: Don't you think it'd be great if there was a device that you could use to signal me with out
having to shout. They could like put it on the phone and call it something like an intercom

[Rachel gives a sarcastic smile]

Rachel: I forgot

Sophie: Well you keep forgeting

Rachel: I promise I won't again. [pause] Could type up this order for the new
line of lingerie?

Sophie: Do I have a choice? [realises she's being cheeky] Boss

Rachel: No

Sophie: Okay

[Sophie takes the order and leaves the office, just as Ross walks in]

Rachel: Hey honey. Did you put in the job requests?

Ross: Of course. Okay so guess who I ran into at the employment office?

Rachel: Anyway I know?

Ross: Well you did know him really well

Rachel: Do you like him?

Ross [very sarcastic]: Yeaaaah rrright!

Rachel: Oh my god!!! Mark!

Ross: Correct

Rachel: What was he doing there?

Ross [happy]: Well he got fired and was looking for a new job. He then came up and asked what I was
doing so I told him. He then asked if he could have the job

Rachel: And you said?

Ross: No! Do you think I'm stupid?

Rachel: I can't believe you sometimes. He's perfect for the job

Ross: I just don't want what happened before to happen again. It was because of him we had "the break"

Rachel: ...and you sleeping with the copy girl

Ross: Exactly

Rachel: Don't you get it still? I love you not him and if you can't trust me, maybe we shouldn't be together

Ross: I'm not saying that it's just I don't want him to work here

Rachel: Fine

[Scene: Central Perk]

[Gunther is standing at the counter writing as Kate walks in]

Kate: Hey

Gunther: Hi

Kate: What are you up to?

Gunther: Just some writing

Kate: Oh, what are you writing?

Gunther: A poem about my secret love

Kate: Can I read it?

Gunther: [thinking] No! [to Kate] Alright

Kate [reading poem]:  Your name begins with R and so does you partners'
   I hope he dies.
   Die! Die! Die!
   So you can be with me
[Kate looks disturbed. Gunther looks happy]

Kate [lying]: Nice, a little too sadistic I think

Gunther: That's only the first verse, the second's going to be where he dies and the

third is where I make passio....

[Ross walks in and Kate runs over to him]

Kate [whispering]: That guy is SO weird

Ross: Who? [looks at the counter] Gunther?

Kate: Yeah. He sounds like he's going to kill someone

Ross: He's weird like that

Kate: So what are you doing here?

Ross: Rach and I kinda had a fight, so I came here to calm down

Kate: Sit down and tell me about it

[They sit down on the couch]

Kate: So what happened?

Ross: It all started ages ago when Rach just got the job at Bloomindales

[Flashback- Rachel just got the job and she hugs Mark]

Ross [voice over]: After she got the job, I became jealous over Mark and her

[Flashback- Rachel receives Ross' Barbershop Quartet, and the office is full of gifts]

Ross [voice over]: Soon we started having fights over him, because she was spending too much time at work
[Flashback- Ross and Rachel having the fight where they take a "break"]

Ross [voice over]: We took a break and I thought that meant we had broken up, so I did something really bad

[Flashback- Ross and Rachel having the big fight. Scene fades back to Central Perk]

Ross: We eventually got back together, but the fact is that all of this was Mark's fault. Then today he asked
me for a job and I said no, but Rach disagreed and we had this fight

Kate: Did she ever cheat on you with Mark?

Ross: No. It's just I don't trust him


  Friends Cafe, number one for Friends fans!


[Scene: Rachel's Office]

[Rachel is dictating a letter to Sophie, when Marks walks in]

Mark: Are you busy?

Rachel: Mark! Oh oh no

Sophie: Are you coming back here to work?

Mark: If you'll have me

Rachel: Oh. We don't have a position available

Sophie: What about.....

Rachel: ... that's suitable for you. We have some jobs, but only in sales not in puchasing

Mark: So did you fill the position of puchasing manager?

Rachel: What?

Mark: Ross, put in an ad for a puchasing manager

Rachel: Did he?

Sophie: Yeah, remember it was on that memo you threw at me yesterday

Rachel: Oh. I always thought memos were just things you wrote to annoy me

Mark: So have you filled the position?

Rachel: I'm not sure, Ross hires people around here, I'd better check with him

Mark: So will you give me a call if it's vacant

Rachel: Of course. Straight away

[Mark starts walking out of the office]

Mark: Hope to hear form you soon then

[He leaves]

Sophie: Oh my god! Mark's coming back

Rachel: Only if Ross is cool with it, you know what happened last time

Sophie: I kinda liked the love bug

[Rachel gives her a look]

Sophie: But he went way over the top. Way over

[Scene: Ross and Rachel's Apartment]

[Rachel is attempting to cook]

[Rachel sprays herself with tomato sauce]

Rachel: Where the hell is Monica when I need her?

[As she starts wiping the mess of herself, Ross walks in]

Ross: Hey honey. About this afternoon...

Rachel: I know you're sorry, but I have something else to say

Ross: And that would be?

Rachel: Mark came in after you left, and he asked for job

Ross: And you said no?

Rachel: Not exactly. I said I'd get back to him

Ross: Why?

Rachel: Ross, he's more qualified than we need for the position, but he wants it.

He's the best person you could get for the job

Ross: But I don't want him to work with you

Rachel: But this time you're going to be there with us

Ross: It's not just that. I just don't trust him, and I dont' think I can give him the job

Rachel: Kate!

Ross: What's she got to do with this?

Rachel: I didn't trust her. I didn't want her to get the job, but I let you give it to her

Ross: That's different

Rachel: Why?

Ross: Cos she was....y'know and he's.......slimey

Rachel: See there's no difference

Ross: Okay. Fine

Rachel: So does he get the job?

Ross [hesitant]: Alright, but I'm going to be watching him

[Scene: Rachel's Office]

[Rachel is ringing Mark]

Rachel: Hi. Mark?

Mark: Speaking

Rachel: It's Rachel

Mark: Oh. Hi

Rachel: I'm just calling to tell you, you got the job

[Mark walks into her office, holding a cellphone]

Mark: Good

[Rachel hangs up here phone]

Rachel: Good timing

Mark: Sophie actually rang and told me to come down

Sophie [shouting from the other room]: Sorry!

Rachel: Welcome aboard Mark

Mark: So do I have to call you boss?

Rachel: Of course

Mark: I'll go get my stuff and out it into my desk

Rachel: And Mark, I've changed the locks so you won't be able to use your key

Mark: Damn

[Scene: Kate's Apartment]

[Kate is watching TV]

[There's a knock at the door, Kate opens it and it's Rachel]

Kate: Oh. Did I forget some thing?

Rachel: Oh no. I was just dropping by some papers on the latest designs by Igneous.

I thought you might want to take a look at them

[Rachel gives her a catalogue]

Kate: Thanks. So why did you really come?

Rachel: To see how you feel about Mark working with you?

Kate: Is there a problem with him?

Rachel: Oh no, it's just he, Ross and I have a history...

Kate: Yeah, the whole jealousy thing and how you broke up over Mark

Rachel: What? Mark? Oh no no. No! We broke up because Ross slept with another girl

Kate: Weren't you on a break or something?

Rachel [angry]: A break, just to calm down after a fight. Not a break to start a new relationship
Kate: You could see how he got mixed up though

Rachel: No, I can't. I clearly told him, no shouted to him that we were on a break

Kate: So you came here to do what exactly?

Rachel: I'm sorry. I just came over to give you the papers and to tell you of the situation between Mark and
us, but it seems Ross has already filled you in. So I'd better go now.I've got some paper work to do. I'll see
you tomorrow

[Rachel gets up and opens the door]

Kate: Rach. I know you think I want to steal Ross from you, but I'm not that kind of person

[Rachel smiles and closes the door]

Rachel [in the corridor]: I'm afraid I'm starting to believe that


[Scene: Bloomingdales]

[Ross is writing a letter, when Sophie comes in]

Sophie: It doesn't take Mark long to get friendly around here does it?

Ross: What?

Sophie: Well he's in Rachel's office kissing..

[Ross runs out of the room]

Sophie: ...some cashier

[Scene: Rachel's Office]

[Mark is kissing a girl, when Ross in]

Ross: Hey you get off her!!

[Mark stops kissing the girl and stands back. Ross sees it's not Rachel and looks embarassed]

Mark: What?

Ross: Nothing, it's just umm....we have policies... of keeping personal things outside work

Mark: Oh, sorry. I won't do it again

[Ross walks out of the office]

Ross [embarassed/laughing]: I did it again

Ross Geller David Schwimmer
Rachel Green Jennfier Aniston
Kate Wilcox Cameron Diaz
Gunther James Michael Tyler
Sophie Laura Dean
Mark Steven Eckholdt
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