[Scene: Ross and Rachel's bedroom, Morning. It's around 10am, the curtains are closed and the place is almost in complete darkness, the camera pans from the closed door to the bed. We see clothes just thrown all over the floor. Suddenly...]
Ross: (Waking up) Ah!
Ross: Nothing! What day is it?
Ross: What year is it?
Rachel: For me 1998. For you, 1976!
Ross: Oh. Do we have to work today?
Rachel: Well, yes.
Ross: I'm so tired.
Rachel: I'm not surprised after last night.
Ross: What did I do again?
Rachel: Well, you came back from somewhere and ran up and down the stairs twice. Then you ran inside, grabbed me, ran in here and dived on the bed. That's all you need to know.
Ross: Wow. You see what I remember was, going out. That's it!
Rachel: No. All you remember was coming home from work!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Kitchen. Rachel is making coffee as Ross walks in]
Rachel: You know that blind guy outside the building was bugging me for money again.
Ross: Well, just give him the finger. You'll be satisfied and he won't be offended. Everyone's a winner!
Rachel: It's as though he actually knows it's me every time.
Ross: Maybe he's a blind psychic. The government's always coming up with wacky ideas. Maybe it's like Project Grillflame [Writer's note: If you don't know what this is then see the commercial break] only it's called, "Project Beggars". Has a ring to it.
Rachel: (Sarcastic) Now, that is a possibility.
Ross: Anyway, just ignore him. Or slip him a few arcade tokens and say "Here's 50 cents".
Rachel: Unfortunately, I'm not that sort of person.
Ross: Alright, I'll do it.
Rachel: You must've had a few last night!
[Scene: Bloomingdale's, All present]
Sophie: So this month we're down $200. Possibly due to purchasing. I mean it's the middle of Spring and I've got an order copy for 500 waterproof jackets.
Rachel: Kate, you wanna check with purchasing please?
Rachel: (In her head) Well at least she's out of the room.
Ross: Everything else OK?
Sophie: Oh yeah. Sales and Management are all up to speed. March has been a pretty good month for us.
Ross: OK. Looks like we need to do some hiring and firing in purchasing. Is this their first error?
Sophie: No, they had two incorrect orders in January and a $50 debt in February.
Ross: Who's the purchasing manager?
Sophie: Dan Waters.
Ross: I'll have to have a chat with him!
Sophie: When you do could you ask him to return my walkman as well?
[Scene: Bloomingdale's Sales department, Rachel is entering an office]
Rachel: Everything alright here?
Mark: Yeah. Is there a problem?
Rachel: Oh, it's just we're $200 down and we wanted to check where the problem was. It's obviously in purchasing as they've made some errors in the past.
Mark: Well, OK.
(As Rachel exits she runs into Ross)
Ross: Hey, what are you doing here?
Rachel: Checking if everything was OK. That a problem?
Ross: No. But I'd prefer it if you handled purchasing from now on. I'll handle sales.
Rachel: Any particular reason?
Ross: The reason is just what you're thinking.
Rachel: Oh, you mean... Gotcha!
Ross: So only come down here in an emergency.
Rachel: What, like running out of pens upstairs?
Ross: This is no time for jokes!
Rachel: The alcohol must've settled now.
Ross: Yeah, hilarious.
[Scene: Purchasing, Ross is talking to Dan Waters along with Kate (Dan is played by Tom Hanks)]
Kate: So can you explain this?
Dan: Well, when everything came past my desk it was OK. It was all signed an checked by the team as well.
Ross: (Sarcastic) Well that's reassuring!
Dan: The problem must've occured in delivery.
Ross: Well, I'll check that out later. First of all can you explain the two incorrect orders in January and your $50 debt in February?
Dan: Well, the $50 debt was from a football game. I must've accidentally added it to the monthly report, and the two incorrect orders were just a misjudgement.
Ross: Misjudgement, huh? Well let's hope, for your sake, that there isn't another, misjudgement, OK?
Dan: Um, sure.
(Ross and Kate start to leave)
Ross: Oh, and by the way. Give Sophie back her walkman!
Ross: See Kate. You sometimes have to handle things in that way. I'll see you upstairs.
(She leaves, Rachel comes down)
Rachel: And you stick to sales. Kate and I will handle purchasing!!
Ross: I'm assuming it's for the same reason?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's building Ext., They are just walking home]
Ross: You know, I still don't know why you think she might be interested in me.
Rachel: I'm telling you! If you asked her out she'd say yes before you say "with me". You can see it from the situations like at the coffeehouse when I first met her.
Ross: Yeah, OK so maybe. But nothing's gonna happen though is it?
(They walk past the blind guy)
Blind Guy: Please!!
(Ross hands him an arcade token)
Ross: Here's a quarter.
Blind Guy: Thank you!!
(They walk off)
Rachel: (Shocked) I can't believe you just did that!
Ross: What?! The guy's always bugging me!
Rachel: Oh my God!
(They go into the building)
[Scene: Dan Waters' office, Kate is entering]
Kate: Got a better explanation yet?
Dan: For what?
Kate: For where the $200 went.
Dan: Look, I already told you. Everything that went by my desk was checked. Have you actually tried sales yet to see if there's a problem there?
Kate: Well, OK. But if there's no problem there, then I'm blaming you.
[Scene: Sales office, Kate is entering]
Kate: (Notices Mark) Hi. (She is obviously smitten)
Mark: Hi. (So is he)
Kate: I just came down to, um, who's your boss?
Kate: Oh, you're the sirector of dales. I mean...
Mark: Yes, I am. Is there a problem?
Kate: W, we, well I was wondering if you had anything planned tonight, er, I mean anything to do with this $200 down situation.
Mark: No I don't and I am free tonight.
Kate: Great, meet you at Central Perk at 7.
Mark: Sounds good.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Both are there]
Ross: (Answering) Hello.
Kate: (On other end) Ross?
Kate: Hi, it's Kate. Listen, is it OK if I knock off early tonight?
Kate: Well, I have a date. I'm meeting him at 7.
Ross: Well, OK that's fine.
Kate: Thanks Ross. (Hangs up)
Rachel: What was all that about?
Ross: Oh, Kate wants the night off. She's got a date.
Rachel: Oh my God! That's great!
Ross: Yeah, so now can you understand?
Rachel: Yeah, I suppose.
(Phone rings again)
Ross: (Answering) Hello.
Mark: (On other end) Ross?
Ross: Yeah, what do you want?
Mark: Well, um.., I was wondering if I could have tonight off.
Ross: To go on a date?
Mark: Well, yes. How did you know?
Ross: Just call it instinct!
[Scene: Bloomingdale's, later. Ross is talking to Kate]
Ross: So, Mark asked you out, huh?
Kate: Well, no. I asked him.
Ross: Oh, wow. Where are you going?
Kate: Well, we're meeting at Central Perk and then we're going from there.
Ross: Sounds like you're going to have a good time then. (Now serious) Remember, you'll have to work over-time tomorrow night.
Kate: (Depressed tone) Yeah, OK. But you know, maybe I don't have to. This could be like a bonus.
Ross: Hm-mmm. Yeah right!
Kate: Oh come on! (Beat) It's not like you have to have me or anything is it.
Ross: Well, um... I do!
Kate: Oh, right well then, I'll...
(She is interrupted by Rachel entering. Rachel seems to be in a hurry to get into the office)
Rachel: Right, OK, Kate. Thanks, I need a word with Ross!
Rachel: I don't care! I run this place now remove yourself!
(Kate reluctantly leaves)
Ross: (To Rachel) You know, you should work at a nightclub.
Rachel: Yeah, well. It's all to do with what we discussed earlier.
Ross: Yeah, OK. I can understand. And have you sorted out this vote thing. They've asked for an official Bloomingdale's vote.
Rachel: I haven't decided. It's pretty difficult, what with the official thing and stuff.
Ross: (Sarcastic) I see what you mean. Clinton and Stevens, you can have too much choice! (Laughs)
Rachel: You know. You wanna do it?
Ross: (Still laughing, then stops upon this line) I'll shut up!
Ross: And, you'll be pleased to know that Kate and Mark have a date so all our problems are solved.
Rachel: (She lights up on hearing this) Really? Oh that's great!!
Ross: Yeah. That's what she was talking to me about right now. She said she finds him really attractive which I don't agree with.
Rachel: Well, I hope you don't!
Ross: Has that set your mind to rest?
Ross: (Gives her a look) Well, if you're not sure then maybe we're not right for each other.
Rachel: You know what I mean!
Ross: Of course I do.
OK, on with the totally unimportant stuff:
Ah, never mind. Just read the script! Go on! And Project Grillflame was the secret US Government's psyhcic spy program.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, later after work. Ross is reading an edition of FHM Magazine]
Ross: Yasmine Bleeth won "Sexiest Woman Of The Year 1998". Chandler'll be pleased.
Rachel: Yeah. You know it makes me sick to think that there are more magazines for men about women than vice versa!
Ross: You think that's what's sick? Man, you don't know about male domination.
Rachel: (Interested, but serious)What the hell's that supposed to mean?!
Ross: (Realising he's got himself into a difficult situation) Oh, nothing.
Rachel: No, go on! What did you mean by it?
Ross: Well, it's true though isn't it?
Ross: Male's do dominate it about 65% of life. (Rachel gives him a look) (Trying to redeem himself) But, women are good with numbers and, er, oh, you're good in the kitchen.
Rachel: Math and cooking! Is that what you're saying women are good for?
Ross: No! OK, I'm going back to work.
Rachel: Fine, I'll catch you there.
(Ross leaves, and Rachel starts looking through FHM)
Rachel: Hey, nice!!
[Scene: Bloomingdale's, It's around 6ish, Ross and Sophie are present. Sophie is doing her regular stuff and Ross is just checking some papers]
Ross: (Looking at paper) Did you sort that problem out with Sales?
Sophie: Erm, yeah. I sent Kate down to deal with it.
Ross: Oh, good.
Ross: Hi, honey. The Sales team have had a kick up the ass!
Rachel: Wow, dealt with it yourself did you?
Ross: Well, no. Kate did.
Rachel: Surprising. I didn't think women could do that sort of thing.
Ross: Could we please drop this?
Rachel: Yeah, sure. GEL BOY!!
(Ross pulls his patented 'finger' move that first appeared in "TOW Joey's New Girlfriend")
[Scene: The street outside the restaurant, L'Obsession, Ross is walking there]
(Suddenly, Kate runs out and, literally, bumps into him, she seems angry)
Ross: (Startled) Hey, Kate. What's up?
Kate: Oh, sorry Ross. It's just that my date was a nightmare.
Ross: Well. It was with Mark, so...
Kate: Yeah. It turns out he was the guy that cheated on my sister.
Ross: Oh, well. I'm sorry!
Kate: Oh it's OK.
Ross: You want me to take you home?
Kate: Thanks a lot, Ross.
(They walk off)
[Scene: Bloomingdale's, main office. It's the next day in case you're curious, Ross, Rachel and Sophie are present]
Rachel: (To Ross) How did Mark and Kate's date go last night, Ross?
Ross: (Leaves what he's doing) How come you said Mark first?
Rachel: No, reason. And, anyway, I thought we'd sorted this out.
Ross: Yeah. And, it didn't go that well.
Rachel: Why? What happened?
Ross: Well, I was walking past L'Obsession last night and suddenly Kate ran out and ran straight into me. She said she said the date was a nightmare.
Rachel: Really? She say why?
Ross: Well, apparently, it was because Mark was the guy who cheated on her sister. Take notice of that.
Rachel: Wow, that's terrible!
Rachel: So what happened next?
Ross: Well, that was it. I just walked her home.
Rachel: Walked her...
Ross: (Realising, interrupting) To her front door.
Ross: Yeah. Anyway I said she could have the morning off.
Rachel: Well, (Checks watch) it's one now.
Ross: Hi. (To Rachel) She's on time then?
Rachel: Yeah, I suppose. (To Kate) Sorry about your date last night Kate. Ross was just telling me about it.
Kate: Oh, that's OK. I've just about got over it now. Rachel: Oh, that's good.
Sophie: Excuse me, Rachel?
Sophie: Here's that invoice you wanted, and there's also another problem.
Rachel: What kind of problem?
Sophie: Well, it turns out that purchasing have messed up the summer order again.
Rachel: (Annoyed) Oh. That is it!! (Grabs the invoice) I've had it with that Waters guy!
Kate: Um, Ross. Could you do me a favor?
Ross: Sure, what's up?
Kate: Well, I was wondering if you'd, um...
Kate: If you'd have a word with Mark for me please?
Ross: Oh, sure Kate. In fact I'll go now!
Sophie: Bad day, huh?
[Scene: Sales, Mark is there as Ross enters]
Mark: Hey Ross.
Ross: (Real serious) I'd like a word with you.
Mark: (Tries to make a joke) Well, why else would you come down here?
Ross: Quit with the jokes, pal! This is important!
Mark: Sure, what's up?
Ross: Well, I heard that you screwed over Kate's sister. And you told her last night while you were out!
Mark: Oh, so she told you.
Ross: Yeah. And I know how much of an asshole you are and that you can't help it but...
Mark: (Interrupting) Wait, wait. What's that supposed to mean?
Ross: Oh, I think you know what it means.
Mark: Do I? (Realises) Oh. So that's it?
Ross: Yeah. I'll have no more of it. And if I have another run in with you then you're out! Do you hear me?
Mark: Sure, I'm, I'm sorry.
Mark: (To himself) Asshole!
Ross: (As he's walking up the stairs) I heard that!!
[Scene: Purchasing, Rachel is talking to Dan]
Rachel: I mean, that's four foul-ups in the last two reports. That is, put simply, not good enough!
Dan: (Looking at report) No, no. This can't be right! I triple-checked this!
Rachel: That's reassuring!
Dan: Well, I can't explain this. Maybe it was just incorrect figures in your department.
Rachel: That's it. Just blame it on Head Office. Well, if you must know, my assistant also triple-checked her numbers and she's a lot more reliable than you. So, I think I'm gonna go with her.
Dan: Well, that's understandable. But, I'm sorry, I can't explain this.
Rachel: Well, OK. But one more mess-up and I'll be back.
Dan: OK. (After she's gone) Terminator.
[Scene: Head Office, Ross is talking to Kate as Rachel enters, Rachel then goes to talk to Sophie who is at her desk doing her usual stuff]
(Conversations are intermixed)
Rachel: Well, I've given Dan a piece of my mind.
Sophie: Oh, that's good so what did you say?
Rachel: Well, I told him that I'm sick of these inacurracies and... Ross: So, I explained to Mark the rules and he was pretty cool with them.
Kate: He was?
Ross: Yeah. Oh, and you should have seen how embarrased he was when I mentioned your sister.
Kate: (With a beaming smile) He was embarrased, huh?
Kate: Nice one. Thanks Ross!
Ross: No problem.
Sophie: And that was it?
Rachel: Yeah, and anyway I've got a few things to do so I'll expext you to be working later tonight and don't forget to deliver me that report. I need to take it to Sales.
Sophie: No, I won't. OK.
Kate: Anyway, Ross. Is it OK if I go home now?
Ross: (Checks watch) Yeah, why not? It's 6 anyway. See ya.
Kate: Bye. Bye Sophie.
Sophie: Oh, see you Kate.
[Scene: As before, only later. Around 8pm]
Ross: Well, I need to go. I've got that interview to sort out.
Rachel: OK honey, I'll see you tonight.
Sophie: Oh, you're so lucky.
Rachel: (Smiling) Oh, I know.
Sophie: Anyway, here's that report you needed.
(She hands Rachel a report)
Rachel: Oh, thanks. I'll deliver it now. Mark's supposed to be working late as well.
[Scene: Sales, Rachel is delivering a report. As it's late, everyone's gone home]
Rachel: Here's that report you needed. Try not to screw up this time!
Mark: Oh, thanks. I will!
(She starts to leave)
Mark: Oh, Rachel.
Mark: You left one of your coffee mugs down here. I think it's one of Monica's old ones. Coincidentally, it's number 27. The number of the cup I used when we went out on that date. Remember?
(They're now pretty close)
Mark: It's a shame that didn't work.
Rachel: Yeah, but I mean...
(He kisses her)
(She leans back and looks at him. Then, they kiss more passionately)
Sophie: Mark, here's (Sees them, they break) uhh! I'll just bin this invoice, huh?
[Scene: Purchasing, Dan Waters is reviewing the purchase report]
Dan: Well, Ordering went well. Delivery went well. Loading went well. Transport went well. Stacking went, (Gets a shocked look on his face) what's this? (Reading) Got you four times - J.S. and G.N. (He looks up) The little bastards!
|Ross Geller||David Schwimmer|
|Rachel Green||Jennfier Aniston|
|Kate Wilcox||Cameron Diaz|
|Mark Robinson||Steven Eckholdt|
|Dan Waters||Tom Hanks|
Ross and Rachel is completely indepedent. It is in no way affiliated with NBC Or Warner Bros. All images are property of Harrison Crecraft.