The Pilot of Ross and Rachel was moderately successful but it wasn't very long. Writing these scripts is really hard! This ep is a bit longer and I think a bit better. It's when the series really gets started. Enjoy!

[Scene: Bloomingdale's, Rachel & Sophie]

Rachel: So, did you finally clean up in there?

Sophie: Just about. In 5 hours, 26 minutes and 17 seconds.

Rachel: Err.. you timed it.

Sophie: Oh, yeah.

Rachel: Well, Ok. Carry on with what you were doing.

(Rachel goes into her office)

Sophie: (to herself) Oh, God we can see how good my employment's gonna be now.

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Ross: Come on. I've got 5 minutes.

(He walks into a rather attractive woman - played by Cameron Diaz)

Ross: Oh, I'm sorry.

Woman: Oh, It's Ok.

Ross: It's just that I'm in a hurry.

Woman: Oh, where are you going?

Ross: To the site of the Museum of Natural History, there's something for old worker's there.

Woman: I just walked by there and they've finished. Sorry.

Ross: Oh, never mind then.

Woman: Hey, do you wanna get a drink or something? I know a great little place!

Ross: Where?

Woman: It's called Central Perk.

[Scene: Hallway outside Ross' apartment, the building's landlord is there, it's no-one famous]

Landlord: Ah, here it is. (knocks on door - repeats twice) No-one in! (he slides a piece of paper under the door.

[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Woman are entering]

Ross: You know, I don't even know your name.

Woman: (Laughs) It's Kate.

Ross: I'm Ross

Gunther (in his head): Wow, look at her. She's great. No, that would be cheating on Rachel.

Kate: Two coffees please.

Ross: You buying?

Kate: You offering?

Ross: (wants to say no) well...

Kate: Ok, thanks.

[Scene: Bloomingdale's, Rachel is there on the phone]

(Ross enters)

Ross: Hi honey.

Rachel: (into phone) No, two..just a sec, (to Ross) Hi (she goes back to phone)

(a man enters, we don't know who it is but he's wearing terrible bright colored clothes)

Ross: Can I help? I mean that literally!

Man: Hi, I'm Mike. I'm from Chisar Fashion and I'm here to sell you some excellent new stock.

(Rachel quickly gets off the phone)

Ross: (looking at his clothes) Excellent?

Rachel: Ok, what've you got?

Mike: Well, it's 1000 summer dresses, suitable for the time of year.

Ross: What are the materials?

Mike: I'm not entirely sure, althought they're really soft.

Ross: Ok, that narrows it down by what, 2%?

Mike: Not very thick.

Ross: 5%

Mike: Plus they're high quality stuff.

Ross: So, what make are they?

Mike: I'll have to check that.

Rachel: Prices.

Mike: I'll have to check that too.

Ross: You don't know anything about these do you?

Mike: Well, I'm more Chisar with a small 'c'.

Ross: You're certainly something with a small 'c'.

Mike: Ok, I'll leave. Call this number if you're interested. (Lays a piece of paper down)

(Mike starts to leave)

Mike: Oh, and by the way, Vote Clinton!!

Ross: Sure, and by the way. There is no 'Chisar Fashion'.

Mike: (uneasy) I'll have to talk to my boss about that.

Ross: You do that.

(Mike leaves)

Ross: Damn salesmen. They don't know when to quit.

Rachel: Yeah

Ross: Ok, I've gotta go, I'm meeting a woman at the coffeehouse.

Rachel: What woman?

Ross: (uneasy) Oh, I forgot to tell you...

(A bell goes off that sounds like the fire alarm)

Ross (cont'd): (Rushing off) Uh-oh fire drill.

[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Kate are there sat at a table (note, this is their second time at Central Perk)]

[In this scene, Gunther's thoughts are denoted in italics]

(Rachel enters, Ross and Kate don't notice her)

(Rachel sees Ross and Kate laughing)

Rachel: Oh, God.

Ross (to Kate): Yeah, just like that!!

Rachel (to Gunther): How long have they been here, Gunther? Gunther: Erm...Ah-ha, here's my chance to break Ross and Rachel up quite a while. They've been havin' fun you know.

Rachel: Really?

Gunther: Yes! It's working! She seems pretty nice too.

(Rachel goes up to them)

Rachel: Ross.

Ross: Oh, hi honey. This is Kate. Kate this is my fiancee Rachel.

Rachel: Hi, (unnoticably sarcastic)nice to meet you.

Kate: Hi. Nice to meet you too(Her face drops)

(Gunther sees this)

Gunther: It was such a devious plan. How could it not work? Maybe I should pay Kate.

Ross: Kate used to work at Lemur Fashion across town.

Rachel: Really?

Ross: Yeah. Anyway, what did you want?

Rachel: Oh, nothing. I'm just goin' home now, home now.

Ross: Well, Ok.

Rachel: Home now.

Ross: Yeah.

(Rachel reluctantly leaves)

Kate: So you're getting married, huh?

[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment, Rachel enters]

Rachel: What's this? (Picks up the piece of paper)

Rachel (reading): To Miss Green, your credit grant (to herself) what the hell is credit grant? (reading) has expired. You owe us $7,000 (to herself) aaahhhhh!.

[Scene: Bloomingdale's, Ross and Sophie]

Sophie: Do you think anyone in the world can spell Mississippi? "[I hope I got it right!]"

Ross: (Not really understanding) Umm..Probably the guy who named the state!

Sophie: It's just that six of these job applicants were born there and they can't spell it.

Ross: Yeah, but if no-one in the world can spell it, then who knows how to really spell it, so technically no-one can be wrong, if you know what I mean.

Sophie: (Not knowing what Ross is talking about) Sure!

Ross: Does that answer your question?

Sophie: Sort of, but...

Ross: (interrupting) Can we stop arguing about how to spell Mississippi?

Sophie: Ok, sorry.

(Someone enters and gives Ross a cup of coffee)

Ross: Thanks.

(Phone rings)

Ross: M-I-S-I, no. M-I...

Sophie: Ross, it's Rachel.

Ross: (on phone) Hi honey, what's up?

Rachel (other end of phone): We're, well I'm $7,000 in debt.

(Upon hearing this, Ross spits out a mouthful of coffee)

[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment, Ross and Rachel]

Ross: What the hell is this credit grant thing?

Rachel: Well, it says here they automatically employed the service.

Ross: Automatically employed, my ass! I'm gonna ring 'em and sort it out honey. You'll have to fill in for me at work, Ok?

Rachel: Ok, see you later. (They kiss)

(Rachel leaves)

Ross: (Dials number on phone) Credit grant. The bank's losing it with all this crap! (on phone) Yes, hi. I wonder if you could help me. What is credit grant? (pause) Yeah, but I've got a letter today saying I owe $7,000 dollars because my grant has expired. (pause) It's Rachel Green (pause) No I'm not Rachel, I'm her fiance. (pause) She didn't want it to be automatically employed...

(The phone conversation continues and then fades to...)

[Scene: Bloomingdale's, Rachel and Sophie]

(Rachel is flicking through some papers)

Rachel: Are these all job applications?

Sophie: Yeah. There's quite a few from Mississippi.

Rachel: Oh. (looking at one of the papers) Kate Wilcox. Born in Poughkeepsie, currently resides in New York, previous job (slows down) Sales director - Lemur Fashion.

Sophie: Yeah, I thought she sounded good.

Rachel: Noooo!

Sophie: (surprised) What?!

Rachel: Oh, sorry. It's nothing.

Sophie: Well, I'd hate to be in the same room as you when there is something wrong!

Rachel: (starts to leave) I'll be back in 15 minutes.

[Scene: Central Perk, Kate is seated at a table]

(Rachel bursts in)

Kate: Hi, Rachel

Rachel: (to herself) Ah, no. I can't do it. It would be too obvious to Ross. (to Kate) Hi.

(Rachel leaves)

Kate: (after she's gone) So would you like a cup of coffee?

[Scene: Bloomingdale's, Ross and Sophie]

(Rachel enters)

Ross: Hey Rache. I sorted that thing at the bank.

Rachel: Oh, thank you Ross. (She hugs him) How?

Ross: Well, it was because of the automatic employment thing. Basically, if you had employed it then it would've been $7,000.

Rachel: Well, that's good.

Sophie: Ross, there's a good, experienced job applicant here called...

Rachel: (interrupting) Michelle Hamilton, right Sophie?

Sophie: Well, actually it was...

Rachel: (interrupting again) Sophie?

Sophie: Yeah, it was her. Anyway, I've got to sort out this stock delivery.

(Sophie leaves)

Ross: I think I'll have a look at these applications.

(Rachel quickly grabs Kate's application)

[Scene: Bloomingdales, Exterior loading bay]

('Mike' from earlier in the script, goes up to Sophie)

Mike: You ordered 3,000 right?

Sophie: How many jobs do you have?

Mike: Well, I do all sorts for the fashion world. I have no specific position.

Sophie: Wow. So it's like you're qualified to do anything in fashion?

Mike: Something like that yeah.

Sophie: That would mean I don't have to work in there anymore! Cool!

[Scene: Bloomingdale's, interior Ross and Rachel's offices]

Rachel: Kate goes to the coffeehouse a lot, doesn't she?

Ross: Yeah.

[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Gunther]

Gunther: I hardly talk to you, Ross. How are you?

Ross: No, Gunther, everytime I start a conversation you end it.

Gunther: (under his breath) Only when you're with Rachel. (to Ross) Kate seems really nice, doesn't she?

Ross: Well, yeah.

Gunther: She's smart and attractive.

Ross: Oh, I think somebody's got a crush on Kate!

Gunther: Oh, I can't understand Rachel!

(Ross just stands there obliviously)

CLOSING CREDITS

[Scene: Bloomingdales, main store]

(Sophie sees Mike selling some watches)

Sophie: God, that man needs some money!!

This script has been read by people

Ross and Rachel is completely independent. It is in no way associated with NBC or Warner Bros. All logos and images remain the property of Harrison Crecraft.